Thursday, May 1st 7.00pm

This day, is beautiful.
The weather renders itself chilly, but this little baby campus is splendorous. Splendorous.
I like saying that, and today, it truly is. The very evening of the very last day of exams. This is my goodbye to my third year of education. This campus, my second home seems to bid a fitting farewell, she’s dressed in her prettiest spring colours, sunlight lays speckled between the crazy paving, iridescent patters paint the rocky bed of the sawmill creek, earth chilled, sun warmed green- oh so very green - grass squishes between my toes. Serenity.

And oh so empty. For today, I really do feel like she is all my own. My only reminder of school is this computer that warms my lap. I pull my hood low over my face, stick my sunglasses on, and lay flat on my back, and stare at the tree tops... And this is me, in my element. Watery clouds drag their wispy cloud feet across the sky, and drop a smattering of spring rain, they evaporate before they touch ground, the first tease of more rain. And all around me, emptiness. Green grass, blue sky, grey asphalt, muddy river, wet leaves. Today was not easy, but for this moment, for this time, I am thankful, so incredibly thankful for mercies. I want to stand up, stretch out my arms, and bellow up to God a huge belly resounding earth shattering thank you. I want to do a happy dance, and jig around.

Are you loved? I found this question on one of those 20 question type, pre pubescent facebook/hi5/friendster /insert appropriate teenage socializing network, questionnaire things. Ha. Yes, I will attempt to turn this into a profound idea now, though maybe it hardly warrants it.

Are you loved? Exponentially. Yep, I am loved exponentially. And you, my reader on this secret rendezvous, you, are loved. Whatever concept of God or higher being you may or may not believe in, I believe, no, I know a God that loves incredibly beyond measure.

But I digress. Or maybe not. I am blessed, because I have been loved, and adored, and held in complete and total human love, and this day, it is so very like a lover’s whisper. Gentle, soft... lingering.
Strangely enough, the many things that the many people quote on your life sometimes do come true. It won’t kill you, it will make you stronger. Be empowered. This is tough love, this is admonition, it’s only time, its only love.
More love, more power.

More strength.

More woman.
But for today, I will plug on my Marley, and let tenacious hope filter through and grab on tight, and I’ll drum my toes, ‘cos they are strumming my pain with their fingers, while I let them kill me softly with their words.

Don’t ruin this. Breathe in, breathe out, wallow.

I wish I could sit here longer, but it’s time for my mind to take pictures of this moment in time, pack my bags and head home. A home I haven’t seen in months, and like old lovers meeting in new places, it will take time to get reacquainted.
This moment is so great I would cheat on that other moment with it, marry it and raise a family of tiny little moments
Wise words on MSN, and perfect.

Sometimes, it’s not ok to mess up. This is one of those times.

And for those who’ve stuck by the different seasons, and who’ve felt the moments like these, el camino a la serenidad comienza aquí...

*edit - I never got around to posting this that thursday night, and though things happen inbetween, some things are better remembered.